Let’s face it, folks: every BBQ is a people-watching safari, and each guest is their own species of backyard legend. Some arrive with sides, some with cheap beer, some with good rum, some with sass, and some just show up for the free food and mystery coolers. Some folks are overdressed, some are underdressed (we’re looking at you Aunt Becky), and some folks we’re just glad they managed to put on shoes. So, put on your sunglasses, check your flip-flop game, and let’s find out—what kind of BBQ guest are you?
10 Types of BBQ Guests You’ll Meet at Every Backyard Cookout
1 | The Early Bird (a.k.a. “Is the Grill Even on Yet?”)
You show up thirty minutes before the start time. The host is still vacuuming the patio and yelling at the dog, but you’re ready—lawn chair in hand, case of Busch Light already on ice. You awkwardly offer to help but mostly just hover, narrating every move like it’s the Masters. When in doubt, you adjust the umbrella and ask “So, you need help with the charcoal?”
Signature Move: Drinking alone until other people arrive, then pretending you weren’t.
2 | The Empty-Handed Houdini
You slide in late, sunglasses on, big grin, hands empty except for your phone. “What, you said just bring myself, right?” You hover near the food, plate always mysteriously full. You “accidentally” leave your Venmo set to private, but you’re the first to ask for leftovers.
Signature Move: Taking home Tupperware you didn’t bring.
3 | The Potato Salad Purist
You arrive to defend your honor—this is a competition, even if no one else knows it. There’s only one true potato salad, and it’s yours. You circle the buffet table, eyeing inferior competitors, checking how much is left in each. If anyone asks for the recipe, you scoff: “Family secret.” If Aunt Patty brought hers, you spend the day giving her side-eye and plotting next year’s rematch.
Signature Move: Whispering “too much mayo” about everyone else’s side dish.
4 | The Pit Boss Impersonator
You offer to bring the host a drink then “accidentally” drift behind the grill and start making suggestions. You question the rub, poke at the meat, and explain that “real smoke flavor” only happens if you keep it under 225 degrees and spritz every seven minutes. You might have brought your own wireless probe thermometer. The host sends you off to make a drink with ingredients he knows aren’t there, hoping you’ll wander off. You live for the phrase, “You want to take over?”
Signature Move: Dramatically sniffing the air and trying to decide what kind of wood is being smoked.
5 | The Craft Brew Snob
You bring a six-pack of “experimental small-batch mango-pineapple saison” (not gonna lie, this sounds delicious!) and spend the rest of the day explaining why everyone else’s beer “lacks depth.” If someone offers you a domestic, you recoil like they handed you warm milk. You’re only here to convert the masses and explain why bourbon is overrated.
Signature Move: Insisting that your IPA pairs perfectly with burnt hot dogs.
6 | The Sideshow Bartender
You set up a folding table, three shakers, and a sack of questionable limes. “Who’s ready for my signature Jalapeño Peach Fizz with a rim of Apple Smack?” You’ll create 17 cocktails, all of them unrepeatable and most dangerously strong. You forget the ice but make up for it with confidence. Start writing the recipes down, they are awesome!
Signature Move: Yelling “It’s five o’clock somewhere!” every ten minutes.
7 | The Kid Wrangler
You arrive with three kids, a baby, two scooters, and a container of fruit snacks. You spend most of the BBQ apologizing as your offspring terrorize the snack table and attempt to befriend the neighbor’s iguana. You’re on a first-name basis with the fire extinguisher. You are working hard and deserve a break—let them kids run wild and have Aunt Becky keep an eye on them for a while. Go get a drink from the Sideshow Bartender!
Signature Move: Asking, “Is this juice box for grown-ups or kids?” (It’s never clear.)
8 | The Cooler Crusader
You bring the biggest Yeti cooler, filled with every beverage except what anyone else drinks. Want water? Sorry, just hard seltzer, celery soda, some weird craft beer from out of state, and something called “peanut butter jelly shots.” You guard your cooler like it’s holding pirate gold but always make sure everyone has a tasty beverage in hand.
Signature Move: Shouting, “Whose beer is this?” before popping the top anyway.
9 | The Food Photographer
You don’t eat until you’ve snapped a photo from every angle. No one can touch the ribs until you get the perfect shot—hashtag #SmokySunset. You have a special filter just for brisket. If the lighting is bad, you’ll just have to wait, y’all.
Signature Move: Rearranging plates and instructing Uncle Dennis to “hold still, just one more.”
10 | The Overstayer
You’re here at noon, and you’ll be here when the host is putting away the citronella candles. You help “clean up” by sampling the leftovers and requesting a midnight round of s’mores. The host is trying to hint, but you’re immune.
Signature Move: Saying, “You got any more of those ribs?” at 10:45pm.
So, Which One Are You?
Every BBQ is a wildlife documentary in its own right. Whether you’re a potato salad warrior, craft brew evangelist, or “just here for the meat,” there’s room for all at the grill. Just bring a dish, bring your best stories, and maybe—just maybe—a bottle of Those Florida Guys rub to really make friends.